In a bold and unprecedented move, Vice President Kamala Harris has rolled out a plan to "empower" Black men by freeing them from paying child support—at least, for the first three children. Yes, you heard that right. As part of her ongoing effort to connect with key voting blocs, Harris has unveiled a revolutionary economic initiative that critics are already calling the "No-Pay for Play" plan.
The “Harris Exemption Clause”
The so-called "Harris Exemption Clause," a vital component of her new "Economic Freedom Agenda for Black Men," is designed to give Black men a “break” from financial responsibility when it comes to child support—provided they stop at three kids. In a speech delivered at a local Pennsylvania coffee shop, Harris stated, "For too long, Black men have been unfairly burdened by the system. We're changing the rules to provide economic relief, starting with child support freedom for the first three children. After all, why pay for what you can get for free?"
According to sources (or, as we like to call them, "whispers from the deep state"), the vice president believes that this policy will encourage Black men to “reinvest” in their communities, particularly in small businesses and, of course, in the national cannabis industry—a booming sector Harris has long promised to connect Black men to, via her "Weed for Wealth" program.
"The Free-Three Family Future"
The "Free-Three Family Future" initiative isn't just about dodging child support payments—it’s part of Harris’ broader strategy to boost economic opportunities. By ensuring Black men can father three children without facing legal or financial consequences, Harris aims to stimulate growth in unexpected sectors. "More kids mean more spending," said Dr. X, an economic analyst who allegedly works undercover in the Department of Treasury’s super-secret Think Tank on Revolutionary Parenting Economics. "More Happy Meals, more Nike sales, more baby formula—it’s a win-win for everyone, except, you know, the kids."
The Hidden Agenda: Creating a Workforce of the Future?
Conspiracy theorists argue that Harris’ plan is actually a cleverly disguised attempt to cultivate a new generation of workers. The idea? More children equals more future labor. With the upcoming automation crisis threatening jobs, these kids could become the low-cost workforce of tomorrow, plugging into industries like cryptocurrency mining (as mentioned in Harris’ other voter outreach efforts).
"Don’t you see it?" says an unnamed but obviously trustworthy internet commentator. "The global elites are breeding workers—this is the long game. First, they get rid of your child support, then they sign your kids up for blockchain internships by age 10. Wake up, people!"
Child Support Cryptocurrency?
Speaking of cryptocurrency, Harris also hinted at the possibility of allowing child support payments to be made using digital assets like Bitcoin or Dogecoin for children four and beyond. According to Harris, this would make child support "more accessible and fun" while also ensuring that fathers don’t have to rely on outdated "fiat currency."
"Wake Up and Stop Paying!"
It’s time we wake up and recognize what’s really going on here. Harris isn’t just offering financial freedom—she’s introducing the "first free family" plan that all but guarantees a new era of economic empowerment. Is this a bold leap into the future, or is it a carefully calculated scheme to make us all dependent on the whims of the digital economy?
Regardless of the motive, one thing is clear: Kamala Harris’ Child Support Exemption plan is just the beginning. "Start with three, and who knows where you’ll end up," Harris said with a wink, concluding her speech with the cryptic promise that “the fourth one might just come with federal student loan forgiveness.”
So, Black men of America—brace yourselves for economic liberation, courtesy of Kamala Harris.
