Pardoned turkey steals a car, goes on a freeway crime spree, firing shots and tossing cranberry sauce. Thanksgiving chaos gobbles its way into history!
Trump mandates foot-powered cars, bans transmissions, then shuts down the EPA, claiming Americans can handle emissions with "a good old-fashioned sniff test."
Man wears jacket in summer just to make people say "take jacket off," so he can reply, "You mean Jack it off?" Experts call it "Extreme Dad Joke Syndrome."